I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
