do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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