I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
