i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize