so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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