i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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