Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
