why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize