The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
