so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
