I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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