I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
