maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
