apparently the secret to your success is patron
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
