Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
That accounts for only three of the penises
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
