She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Is Oprah even human
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
