that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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