We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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