Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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