So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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