we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
