Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Randomize
