This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
