Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
