new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
