Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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