Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
