I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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