i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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