There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
