I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
