checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
