yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
