Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
