the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
