Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
