I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
