Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
