At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
