i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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