i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize