I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
