I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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