I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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