I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
time to smoke my breakfast
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
