Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
