Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize