i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
