you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
