would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
