she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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