I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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