No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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