hell yes lets make some ravioli
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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