is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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