if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
