It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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