I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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