My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
