not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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